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Chairway to Heaven!
(or not!)
Friends kept telling me I must be
mad, but ever since I first saw an Enduro outfit (motorbike and
sidecar), I had yearned to race one. The biggest problem - or so
it seemed, appeared to be trying to convince someone else to go in
the chair!
Now this was something I had failed
at miserable for over 10 years now. The wife had always said a
definite NO!, - ever since Mike Pearce managed to knock his wife
unconscious whilst flying his outfit rather too close to a rather
low tree! (He didn't even notice she was
missing until he hit the next turn!). When she finally came around he screamed at her saying
get back on we are losing time!!!
'So
off we went!!!'
All my friends said no way! So next
I patiently waited for - first my son Ian, then Sarah my daughter
to become old enough to compete in a chair, but alas again they
both said NO! (and wisely it turned out!!!). So now, as my riding
years pass by and far to quickly, I thought it was my destiny, to
never 'have a go!'. But aha...
The last Sunday in April saw the
TRF Fun Day and Barbie at Hazelwood Farm. Where a fantastic Enduro
style circuit had been thoughfully laid out by the owner Brian
Hingston. n absolutely brilliant day it was too! The great thing
about these social gatherings is you get to try out all sorts of
different machines. I tried various KTM's, TTR's, WR's and even a
Serow!!! Then a 'chair' turned up. No it wasn't the latest racer
model, it was your average bog standard Long Distance Trial type
outfit. A huge Suzuki 4-stroke single engined bike strapped to a
rather robust sidecar, - all fitted with grab bars, hand straps
and even a padded toolbox/seat unit. What's more the kind owner
said as I looked on lovingly - "Want a go?". As I
coughed and spluttered a "well er, umm," reply. "Go
on take your lad around" was suggested.
'It
seemed alright at first'
So with a big beaming smile I set
of in Search of Ian (Ian Putt - Championship Solo rider). To my
big surprise he said yes and in two shakes we were off.
Well the first few yards were
tremendously exciting as we charged down the straight starting
field at well over - well it must have been at least 10mph! -
Trying to get used to the steering and passenger position. And
well, it sort off all went downhill from there!!!
'I
am NOT going down there - oh, we have to to get back!'
For those that don't know, this is
what we soon found out - When your on an outfit and you want to go
left - you turn left. It goes left but the chair comes up in the
air and you nearly turn over, so the passenger has to quickly lean
outwards. We hadn't tried turning right at this point!!!
I found it so difficult trying to
get the outfit to go in the general direction of the track that I
suggested to Ian that maybe he would like to swap positions with
me and so I got in the chair. This was a BAD move, it seems that
where a chair goes is more down to the passenger positioning than
the drivers steering, and now it had an idiot sat in the
chair that was twice as heavy!
'Were
gonna hit the hedge!!!'
So as Ian entered the narrow lane
and shut the throttle we shot up the right hand hedge and came to
an abrupt halt. H'mm strange we thought. "Ian are you having
trouble steering" I asked. "Dunno what happened
there" he replied. So we lifted the outfit down (from the
hedge), straightened her up and set of again. Nothing, we didn't
move forward at all. Ian noticed the back wheel was spinning so I
moved by considerable weight backwards. The tyre gripped, bike
shot off like a rocket - straight up the left hand hedge. That's
when we realised, if you accelerate with an outfit, the chair
'drags' and the whole thing wants to spin left. If you slow down
it tries to spin right!!! So now we thought we were experts having
sussed this, but alas failed miserable to move in a straight line
forward, by which time Ian's arms were tired aching.
'Help
always arrives AFTER you have lifted the bike out'
Yep so we swapped again - I leapt
on the bike and was determined to WIN. Other people could ride
these things, and i was going to! We finally exited the lane and
thought better about trying the wooded trials type sections -
despite our new found knowledge. Our tack was to try and get
around the field edges on the easy bits and complete the
lap.
As we started to go down over a
fairly steep drop. "I am not going down there" said Ian,
"You can forget that" (well it may not have been quite
that polite!). So I tried to turn along the hillside, that's when
I started 'Shi**ing' a brick. Ian was leaning out for all he was
worth trying to prevent it tipping over, but with his ultra-light
body this was not a certainty. After much panicking and screaming
all round, we ended up going straight down - the shortest route.
All brakes on. engine 'killed' and leaning back for all we were
worth, - Phew made it.
'Grin
factor on Max High as we set off again!!!'
It was about now that the first
member of the search party had arrived, but at this stage we were
OK. So he went on (the Bas**rd, he should have waited!!!).
OK through a simple pleasant wooded
track, up into a dead straight level field, no problem, - or so we
thought! As we traversed the bottom of this apparently innocuous
field the outfit suddenly had an overwhelming urge to go left. Now
this was bad as there was a hedge nearby. I turned the bars right,
- but it still went left! I panicked and turned the bars harder
right, and as we shot into the hedge Ian screamed and bailed out.
Muggins here was 'frozen' to the bars, as the barbed wire fence
flexed and groaned, the posts now leaning over at an acute angle
and threatening to drop me 20 feet vertically into a gully. That's
it, my time is up I thought. A 1/4 tonne outfit landing on my head
has just got to be fatal! I waited, screamed a bit, I looked for
help. But Ian was creased up laughing and Brian was trying to get
a camera quick. - That's bloomin friends innit, your about to die
and they look for a camera!!!
'Oh
no not another tricky bit.'
Well luckily the barbwire fence
held and eventually we tugged the weighty beast back into the
field and repaired the hedge. I still did not know at this time
that you can't just steer an outfit right when you are riding
along steady. Apparently you either 'brake hard' when the chair
will swing the bike right, or the passenger has to lean forward
and in so as to lighten the sidecar and rear wheel. At the same
time the driver opens the throttle sharply and causes the rear
wheel to brake traction and skid around. Hopefully stepping out
enough to leave you facing in the correct direction.
Yes all this requires LOTS of skill
- and bravery. Opening the throttle when it all going wrong has
never been a strong point for me!
'Just
a bit of pushing here and there!'
Anyway we eventually found a
shortcut back after negotiating a further few obstacles - and Ian
pushing a lot, to find almost everyone had gone home by now!
Doctor, doctor, I am cured, -
I never want to go on a motorcycle and sidecar outfit EVER
again!!!
Many many thanks to Roger Hart from
Newton Poppleford for entrusting us with his wonderful
machine.
Report - Adrian Harris (Biker).
Photos - Brian Sussex.
.......and now
on with the show -
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